Walmart?
Overheard in the River Oaks Court room, Dave says to Mike after playing,
"My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor."
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies.
"There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart.
Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you
what's wrong and what to do about it.
It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars . . .
A lot cheaper than a doctor."
So, Dave deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart.
He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the
urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy
activity. It will improve in two weeks.
Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart."
That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Dave
began wondering if the computer could be fooled.
He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples
from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.
Dave hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits
ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.
The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get
better!
Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart
The "IT" Girls of Summer are out of the block and off to a Great Start. We have won our first match vs. Five Seasons (4-1). Gunilla fought hard, Carson pulled off a HUGE victory, Nancy & Richelle, Patti & Laurie, and Beth & Laura all posted the Ws!!!. The support for our players by our team members and friends was appreciated. Thanks! .....hmmm.... Week 1 Motto: "NO FRIENDS ON THE TENNIS COURT" Next Up: North Ridge 3...Let's get ready to rumble!
John Wong's Five Seasons' 4.0 team got off to a great start this year with a 4-1 win over Fox Creek. They had a lot of practice with the new tie breakers. Now let's see...when do we switch?
The Lancaster River Oaks Senior Team won all courts against Cleveland Racquet Club last night. With captain Lancaster on a cruise Mucklo took over and was "Dick for a Day". Luengo and Wacker blasted to a 0 and 3 win on court one. The lefty righty combo of Rickard and Hansar won 3 and 2 on court two. Mucklo and Clark set a speed record and finished 1 and 1. Maybe that captain should extend his cruise...
