River Oaks Pro Tournament

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If the video does not display properly
click here to upgrade to Flash 8 Some short clips from the River Oaks Pro Tournament in February.

Tennis Elbow?

Walmart? Overheard in the River Oaks Court room, Dave says to Mike after playing, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor." "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars . . . A lot cheaper than a doctor." So, Dave deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart." That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Dave began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure. Dave hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results. The computer prints the following: 1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9) 2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7) 3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab. 4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. 5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better! Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart

New Senior Tennis Balls this year.

Due to complaints from seniors about not seeing the ball, a new "Senior Ball" has been proscribed this for match play.

Don't be nice, get even.

"PEOPLE who smile a lot and say "have a nice day" are headed to an early grave while the grumpy stay fit." This could apply to court behavior. Let your emotions show. You don't HAVE to be nice. It's not good for your health. Accoring to researchers, you shouldn't repress those angry feelings. You will live longer and feel better if when your opponent is an a**hole you let him know. According to the linked article it's better for your health. Are your sure that ball was OUT! McEnroe was right! It's alright to McNasty!

COMING SOON, NEW SEASON, NEW LOOK

Watch for the new look!

WOW!

Steve Kuri and our new River Oaks pro Shaun Harrop-Keenan playing 5.0 USTA for the La Tuchie Tennis Center, Stow OH won the National Championship today. This team beat Olde Towne Athletic Club, Marietta GA, to take the title. Congratulate Steve and Shaun when they return to River Oaks this week. They're the best in the country and we have them both at River Oaks!

US Open is over!!

Just felt a need to get that big ugly bus off the top of the Blog.